Tomato
- It's evil history and myths
tomato
history - the evil origin
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Originally
cultivated by the famously blood thirsty Aztecs and Incas as early as 700 A.D., the tomato is native to
the Americas. The Spanish explorer Cortez conquered the
Aztec city of Tenochtitlan, later to be renamed Mexico
City, in 1521. It is presumed that the tomato found its'
way across the Atlantic shortly after. When explorers
brought back seed to Europe from Mexico. |
| The
name "tomato" derives from "tomatl,"
its name in Nahuatl, the language of the Aztec people.
The English form "tomate" first appeared in
the 17th century, and was later modified to "tomato,"
probably under the influence of the more familiar "potato."
Most of these early fruits were yellow, and became known
as "manzanas" (apples) and "pomi d'oro"
(apple of gold). They were considered poisonous but appreciated
for their beauty. |
tomatoes
are evil and deadly
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As
the tomato arrived in Europe
the plant became associated with poisonous members of
the Solanceae family, specifically henbane, mandrake
and deadly nightshade, to which it bore more than
a passing resemblance.
Deadly nightshade is a poisonous plant which has
been used as both a hallucinogenic drug and a beauty aid
in different parts of Europe. The Latin name "belladonna"
means beautiful woman, in the medieval courts of Europe
ladies would apply a few drops of nightshade extract to
their eyes to dilate their pupils, a look considered most
fashionable at the time. |
The
hallucinogenic properties of the plant, comprised of visions
and the sense of flying. This most led to the association
of the nightshade family with witchcraft.
German folklore claims that witches used plants like mandrake
and nightshade to summon werewolves, a practice
known as lycanthropy. The common German name for tomatoes
translates to "wolf peach", and because of this
it was universally avoided. In the 18th century the tomato
species was named Lycopersicon esculentum, which
literally means, "edible wolf peach". |
| Despite
it's association with Witches and the Black Arts, early
efforts to peddle the tomato were not highly successful.
Even in one of America's towns most associated with Witchcraft
- the hamlet of Salem, Massachusetts a painter
hoping to make a little extra money selling the fruit
had difficulty even convincing people to taste the red
fruit. |
The
Tomatoes connection with bloodshed continued in Europe.
During the French Revolution in 1783 the patriotic
Republican citizens of Paris who wore the Red Cap as
a mark of faith in the Republic.
While
thier main aim was beheading aristcrats they still had
to eat. They were addressed on one occasion by a zealous
chef who suggested that the faithful should eat red
food to demonstrate their devotion to the revolution.
The Tomato was known to be popular in various southern
parts of the continent but was not recommended by the
French Aristocracy, making it the perfect mascot for
the blood thirsty hordes.
It quickly became the fruit of choice to the Republican
masses and came to be served as stewed side dishes and
as summer salads. |
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On
September 26th, 1830, Colonel Robert Gibbon Johnson
stood on the steps of the courthouse in Salem,
Massachusetts with a basket of potentially toxic fruit.
Despite warnings that its poison would turn his blood
to acid, he told several hundred cheering spectators that
he planned to eat the entire basket - and survive.
"The foolish Colonel will foam and froth at the mouth,"
his own doctor shouted, "and double over with appendicitis.
All that oxalic acid - one dose and he is dead.
He might even be exposing himself to brain fever. Should
he by some unlikely chance survive his skin will stick
to his stomach and cause cancer."
Johnson, wearing black, ate the entire basket and indeed
survived. The source of this story was an old farm journal,
and may be less than reliable. If it is true, he was lucky those fruit were Tomatoes which as the evidence shows are Evil. |
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tomatoes
- a potted history
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In
1897, Joseph Campbell came up with the idea of condensed
tomato soup - by reducing water in the tin, storage
and shipping costs were reduced.
Campbell's
soup packaging later became iconic when Andy Warhol
used the image in more than 100 pop-art works.
According to art myth: Andy Warhol's mother served
him tomato soup for lunch for twenty years which was
why he painted tomato soup cans.
Andy
Warhol was known for dissolving the boundaries between
high and low culture: he used silkscreening techniques
to mechanically reproduce consumer images such Campbell's
soup cans.
Also
in the late sixties sci-fi flick Attack of the Killer
Tomatoes was released, so sucessful was this characterising
of the evil fruit that a sequel was later made. |
| In
1948 Tomato juice is combined with other juices in V8
Vegetable juice which was acquired by Campbell's. It
advertised it, using movie actor Ronald Reagan as a
spokesman, among others. |
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In
1981, the USDA chairman declared ketchup to be a vegetable
in order to justify Reagan administration budget cuts
in the school lunch program.
President Nixon covered his cottage cheese with Tomato
Ketchup. |
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Do
NOT allow this abomination into your food, your fridges or your
lives.
How much more proof do you need? |
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FACT
FILE: TOMATOES
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Superstition
once had it that placing ripe tomatoes on a mantel when first
entering a new dwelling would guarantee future prosperity
or will ward off evil spirits
Pincushions the color and shape of ripe tomatoes were used
instead if ripe tomatoes were not available. To this day,
pincushions are most often red.
Nurserymen
use tomato seedlings the way miners use canary birds. The
seedlings cannot survive the smallest amounts of natural gas,
so they're placed in greenhouses to warn of leaking gas heaters.
According
to the 1996 edition of the Guiness Book of Records the largest
tomato ever grown weighed in at 7 pounds, 12 ounces.
Tomatoes are used in many food products, including of course,
tomato sauce, ketchup, pasta and pizza. According to a Steel
Packing Council survey of 1997, 68% of chefs use canned tomatoes
for convenience, quality and flavoring.
There are
many different recipes for tomato sauce and every Italian
family has its favorite. No two tomato sauces are identical.
This is reflected in the Sicilian expreseeion: "He
is always different, like a sauce."
The word ketchup is derived from the Chinese ke-tsiap,
a pickled fish sauce. It became kechap and ketjap in Indonesia.
Seventeenth century English sailors first discovered the delights
of this Chinese condiment and brought it west. Ketchup was
first mentioned in print around 1690. It went through various
changes, including the addition of tomatoes in the 1700s.
Cherry, Plum, Beef, Sundried, Green,
Organic or home grown;
all TOMATOES ARE EVIL.
The story does
not end here.....
tomatoes are evil
.com are pleased to finally reveal the
truth.
(see tomato health facts)
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